pruning hurts

Yes, I realize that pruning is necessary for my soul to produce more fruit, and I do want to grow. But, as is true for mankind, I don't like pain. Particularly emotional pain is difficult for me. Another characteristic about pruning I find challenging, is it's usually -- no just about always -- unexpected. Hence, two unpleasant characteristics have to be tolerated for this pruning process: pain and unexpected "things" happening.

Lord, open my eyes and heart and soul so that I may see, learn and do your will -- and hopefully avoid a lot of "re-peat pruning". I am a tough cookie and have gotten this far -- but I admit it, I am weary now. So I am ready. Willingly I shall set "myself" aside, as well as I can; with the specific hopes that I can absorb your word, your will, your spirit. I've been trying to do this life thing, and ya know, I think I've gotten as wise, talented and content as I can without you being beside me every second of the day. I get it now. I need you in my life daily -- and throughout the day. Yes, I have been very blessed in my life, fumbling through as a believer, but not as a Christian who holds you first and foremost in my daily walk; but living as a believer who tries to do the right thing and then when I am not sure of next steps, then I seek you. Please help me become a godly person, and help me not let my "self" become a barrier. I have been raised and lived to be an independent person -- but I see that being independent requires I integrate you into each moment of my life.