Yes, I realize that pruning is necessary for my soul to produce more fruit, and I do want to grow. But, as is true for mankind, I don't like pain. Particularly emotional pain is difficult for me. Another characteristic about pruning I find challenging, is it's usually -- no just about always -- unexpected. Hence, two unpleasant characteristics have to be tolerated for this pruning process: pain and unexpected "things" happening.
Lord, open my eyes and heart and soul so that I may see, learn and do your will -- and hopefully avoid a lot of "re-peat pruning". I am a tough cookie and have gotten this far -- but I admit it, I am weary now. So I am ready. Willingly I shall set "myself" aside, as well as I can; with the specific hopes that I can absorb your word, your will, your spirit. I've been trying to do this life thing, and ya know, I think I've gotten as wise, talented and content as I can without you being beside me every second of the day. I get it now. I need you in my life daily -- and throughout the day. Yes, I have been very blessed in my life, fumbling through as a believer, but not as a Christian who holds you first and foremost in my daily walk; but living as a believer who tries to do the right thing and then when I am not sure of next steps, then I seek you. Please help me become a godly person, and help me not let my "self" become a barrier. I have been raised and lived to be an independent person -- but I see that being independent requires I integrate you into each moment of my life.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Friday, February 19, 2010
Save Now
As I watch the 2010 Winter Olympics, I pause to contemplate how life can change so abruptly within mere seconds. In the time that it takes to blink an eye, a life is made, another ended, dreams realized and hopes dashed. Our Olympians have spent countless hours practicing, perfecting and dreaming for this one performance. So much for such a brief moment.
Is this exact moment really worthy of as much emphasis as it is given? I guess each athlete decides for themselves, just as you and I, how much weight we give this moment.
My minds eye travels to the quote splashed on bumper stickers and motivational posters insisting to me the most important moments are those that take your breath away. Indeed, many of the Olympians do hold their breath as they wait for judgment to be cast.
Judgment. Ugh.
I do not want my "success" dependent upon the approval of man.
This moment, here on my laptop, watching the Olympics proved important to me as well. With a small breath and feeling of increased freedom, I will click on the pale blue box that benignly states, "Save Now" -- and close my laptop. Then I shall lie on my side to watch the presentation of medals... hoping they do not define their true worth by the color of a medal. I shall pray to my God, and eventually fall into slumber. Perhaps tomorrow I shall awake. If not --
my God, my God -- "Save Now".
Is this exact moment really worthy of as much emphasis as it is given? I guess each athlete decides for themselves, just as you and I, how much weight we give this moment.
My minds eye travels to the quote splashed on bumper stickers and motivational posters insisting to me the most important moments are those that take your breath away. Indeed, many of the Olympians do hold their breath as they wait for judgment to be cast.
Judgment. Ugh.
I do not want my "success" dependent upon the approval of man.
This moment, here on my laptop, watching the Olympics proved important to me as well. With a small breath and feeling of increased freedom, I will click on the pale blue box that benignly states, "Save Now" -- and close my laptop. Then I shall lie on my side to watch the presentation of medals... hoping they do not define their true worth by the color of a medal. I shall pray to my God, and eventually fall into slumber. Perhaps tomorrow I shall awake. If not --
my God, my God -- "Save Now".
Sunday, February 7, 2010
God didn't HAVE to make flowers so bright, beautiful and with a lovely fragrance as well. Nor did the bird's song have to be so sweet upon our ears ...but He did, and who am I that I walk by them without a notice? I keep my head filled with lists and worries and a continual sifting of the schedule in life, that I forget the miracles surrounding me. I forget and then, when angered by pain, I shake my fist at God, demanding He explain to me why? Sometimes tears fill my eyes and doubt His love for me or others. Yet, He cared enough to be mindful of my world and decorate it with animals, insects and plants of every kind, and he cared enough to see mankind needed a companion. He could have really truly made the earth in shades of brown, gray and dirty whites, but He didn't. Just as I lovingly chose lacy curtains for my youngest child's bedroom, He choose to drape lace in spiderwebs, drooping ferns and shadows dancing upon the grass. Thank you God. And help me to see the celebration of life and man that you convey each day.
I see you today God. This is very good. I am reminded with the sunlight's glint off the snow, that within life is a liturgy and celebration -- and there are more commonalities than differences between ... Thank you for this moment. May I remember to re-read the obvious evidence of your love the next time I feel lost in despair.
I see you today God. This is very good. I am reminded with the sunlight's glint off the snow, that within life is a liturgy and celebration -- and there are more commonalities than differences between ... Thank you for this moment. May I remember to re-read the obvious evidence of your love the next time I feel lost in despair.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)